An article about how the existence of Narwhals mean Unicorns could exist

For Kee Riley

                The magical existence of the Narwhal gives hope to many. Its singular horn, which is attached to its skull, is obviously extremely similar to that of the Unicorn.  I have been asked to explain how the existence of these sea creatures means that Unicorns could walk on our sweet Earth. I hear you say, is the Unicorn not a myth? Like the Cadbury Marble bar and the Yeti? Well I say, no, the Unicorn is real.

1.       Narwhals: The ‘Unicorn of the Sea’

Now, the BBC even calls Narwhals this. And the BBC is the factual centre of the world. I do English and I understand the way that sentences work. The above phrase ends with ‘of the sea’. Narwhals are not Unicorns; they are the sea’s equivalent. This implies that there are Unicorns on the land.

2.       They have a horn, for Pete's sake!

For the sake of all the brie in the world, the Narwhal has a horn. Not only is it a horn, it looks identical to the portraits of Unicorns that have lived (yes).

3.       Narwhals might well be Unicorns

Narwhals are grey and speckled with white. Unicorns were sometimes white with grey speckles. Maybe if you unzipped a Narwhal, a Unicorn would fall out?

Author’s note: Please don’t try to open up a Narwhal… if we are wrong we may be arrested.

4.       Narwhals are magical

Like Unicorns.