Sunday, 4 August 2013

Common descriptions of me

I think that this is relevant in the current troll-gate sitch. Today many people of Twitter are doing a #twittersilence because they are sick of the (quite genius) platform being spoiled by childish farts who write the most unimaginative insults I have ever seen. I totally understand why they are doing this, but I bet the amount of trolling that has occurred today is a great load larger than it usually is. I just hope the victims are enjoying a day off from meanosity anyway. For a bit of le fun i’m just writing a list of things I have heard to describe my ace self.

1.      Geek.

This one really makes my eye twitch because it was used in a derogatory way when I was younger, but now the cool kids walk around with t-shirts on that declare them a ‘geek’. If I was wearing the tee about seven years ago I might have been writing that I reclaimed the word and I am empowered (as I stroked my cat that looked like Albert Einstein). But I never wore/wear such clothing. It is the girls (I know I am labelling you, sorry) that seem to be attempting to look groovey that don the capitalised ‘GEEK’.

            The most memorable usage of this word in regards to me was when one of my friends knocked on (god that makes me feel old) for me in year 8. She asked if I wanted to stand on street corners/ in a field/ on a wall/ in a shed (not really) or something. I said no because I was watching a film about Earthquakes. She was completely pleasant to me after this and went off to explore different concrete surfaces. Then- the next day- I got to school and people kept coming up to me laughing because I had chosen to stay in and watch the Discovery channel instead of sit on hard surfaces. It apparently made me a geek.

Author’s note: It wasn’t even the discovery channel. It was this: 

2.     Cat lady/ Crazy cat lady.

This is entirely my own fault. Queue list within a list.
1.       I am one of the proud people who has achieved a cat beard.
2.       I comb my cat.
3.      I let him sleep where he wants on my bed. Even if this means I have to sleep with my face in a wall.
4.      I call him names. Queue list within a list within a list.
1.       Charles
2.      Bobs
3.      Bobbsy
4.      Bobsykins
5.      Angel kitten
6.      Angel face
7.      Chicken pie
8.      Kitten chops
9.      Kitten paws
5.      I take at least three pictures of him a day.
6.      My mother puts him on the phone when I am away at University.
7.      I feed him tiny pieces of cheese.
8.      I like to hear about your cat. Yes you, stranger, about your cat. All cats.
9.      Pusheen.
10.   My favourite twitter account is @Number10cat (Larry the downing street cat).
11.    I watch videos of cats on Youtube. I like the one where a cat tries to miaow under water. Ha ha ha.

3.     Beyonce


No I totally made this up. 

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